How To Make Friends In Your 50s & Older

Practical tips for maintaining social connections

Making friends is typically easy for young children, but is known to be more challenging for adults who have left institutions that offer common interests, such as school or work. Our social circles tend to shrink as we age, but it is incredibly important for older age groups to maintain connections with their community and attempt to forge new friendships if they start to feel lonely or isolated. Here, we are discussing the importance of social connections, the best ways to make new friends in older adulthood, the common barriers faced, how families can support loved ones, and how home care services could help.

At Home Instead, our aim is to help people age positively and in place by bringing expert care to their home. For nearly 20 years, we have been providing the highest standard of care, and creating industry-leading training programmes for our Care Professionals that are accredited by nursing and medical professionals. Today, we are the world’s largest global domiciliary care network, supporting over 100,000 older adults with personalised, tailored care at home. So whatever questions you have about loneliness in older adults, we can help. 

How can older people make new friends? 

Making friends can be difficult as an older person, however a few mindset shifts and some support could help make this easier. 

Commit to making friends

Making friends is rarely a passive activity, so you do need to make a deliberate effort to find and maintain connections. If you have been feeling lonely for a while, you may experience a lack of confidence or low self-esteem when it comes to leaving the house, putting yourself out there or trying something new, but it is important to keep in mind that making new friends may require you to plan ahead and take considered action.

Try to turn feelings of loneliness into action steps by discussing your desires for friendship with your family, spouse or caregivers, and thinking of the types of activities you might like to do with the friends you make. Setting goals such as going to one new event a month could be a helpful challenge that results in new connections. 

Get involved in community events

No matter where you live, there are usually community events to get involved in. Check your local newspaper, bulletin boards, or community spaces like libraries and churches to find upcoming activities and events being advertised. 

You might come across hobby groups like craft clubs or choirs, classes at local colleges where you can learn new skills, language learning meetups, volunteer opportunities, religious gatherings, concerts, workshops and more. Check out things like day centres near you, Men’s Sheds where people can meet to make and repair things, and cafes and lunch clubs from Age UK for inspiration.

Start your own event

If none of the local events in your area interest you, you could start your own if you feel able. Ask your local library or church hall, as many of these spaces are available to use for free or for a small fee. You could start a book club to discuss your favourite reads, a gardening club in your own garden or local allotment, a knitting circle for fellow crafters, a quiz night at your local pub, or something else. 

Whatever hobbies interest you, consider advertising this locally to find like-minded people, and arranging a meetup for other people who might enjoy making connections. 

Find people in a similar stage of life 

If you are looking to meet friends who are at a similar point or age in life, or who are struggling with the same health issues you are, then you might be able to find this demographic by joining a senior centre. These centres exist in many communities around the country, and often put on events of their own such as fitness classes for older people, hobby groups, dementia-friendly meetups, and more. 

Depending on the centre you may also be able to pop in whenever you feel like socialising, to chat to others who use the space and make use of befriending services. You can learn more about this in our guide to companionship and befriending services for the elderly.

Get fit with others 

Fitness classes are a great way to meet other people while taking care of your health, and there are many classes designed especially for older people who perhaps have limited mobility or health issues that make exercise more challenging and risky. 

Yoga classes designed for older adults, chair-obics, walking groups, bowling leagues and tai chi are just some of the ways you can move your body to feel healthy while also meeting others who perhaps struggle with similar health issues. Having a dog to walk is another useful way to be healthy and active, while getting out in the local community or dog park to socialise with other pet owners. 

You can read more in our guide to fitness and exercise for the elderly.

Learn to access and use online communities 

Many meetups and events are posted online, so if you would like more knowledge of the latest goings-on in your town or city, getting on social media platforms like Facebook, Nextdoor or Meetup can expand your knowledge of what is happening around you, as well as help you to create digital connections with others via the computer or a phone. 

If you are new to the online world or social media, ask a caregiver or family member with experience to assist you in finding and accessing the online communities you need. 

Be resilient when making friends 

It is important not to take things personally if connections do not develop into more solid friendships, and to keep trying. Going to a meetup for the first time can be scary and emotionally challenging, so remember that going along in the first place is a step in the right direction, and should be considered a success even if you do not gel with anyone else there. 

Making friends takes time. One study found it takes approximately 50 hours with a person to become casual friends, and 200 hours to become close friends. However, research finds even friendly interactions from those not considered close friends can help to increase feelings of wellbeing and reduce depression, so you could be getting more out of casual friendships than you think.

Reach out to past connections 

One of the first things you can do before you try to make new connections is to reach back out to older ones who you have lost touch with over time. Find the contact details for former colleagues, friends from school, old neighbours, and anyone else whose company you previously enjoyed. If you struggle to do this, relatives or caregivers may be able to help you use online resources to find and reach out to past connections.

How can families help older relatives to be social? 

Even older adults who have family around them regularly, or who live with a spouse, can benefit from meeting new friends. One study found that meeting with friends was sometimes a more enjoyable experience than meeting with family members or a spouse, as there were typically less conversations about stressful experiences.

In addition, research suggests older adults who are unmarried may have on average more friends and be more likely to socialise than their married counterparts. This shows that even with pre-existing connections, it can help for older people to expand their circle and gain other types of friendships to provide support in other ways. 

Families can help their older loved ones in expanding their social circle by:

• Encouraging participation in community events or activities
• Making them aware of local events they may not know about 
• Accompanying them to meetups for the first few visits to boost their confidence 
• Provide transport to and from local events, gatherings, or friends’ houses 
• Helping with communicative technology, such as getting them onto social media
• Keeping an eye on any signs of loneliness and suggesting solutions if they arise

How can home care help older adults to stay social in their community?

Home care can help to make the lives of older adults easier and more enjoyable in a number of ways, and this includes encouraging them to make and maintain social connections. Home caregivers could reduce feelings of loneliness by:

• Providing companionship and emotional support 
• Assisting with transportation to local events or senior centres
• Assisting with technology use if needed to contact others 
• Encouraging participation in hobbies and activities within the community
• Filling in for families (sitting services) to watch over an older person while providing ad-hoc companionship 
• Offering mobility or health support to manage any conditions or issues, if these are stopping an older person from leaving home or socialising 
• Helping to organise social events within the older person’s own home if they would like to have friends over 

If you or a loved one is experiencing loneliness or isolation, our friendly, supportive Care Professionals can help to ease these feelings by helping cultivate and maintain a social life. From general companionship and mobility care to complex care and home help, whatever support you need, you can reach out to your local Home Instead office to discuss your options.

We’re an award-winning home care provider and part of a worldwide organisation devoted to providing the highest-quality relationship-led care for older people in their own homes. Arranging care for yourself or your loved one shouldn’t be stressful, so whatever questions you would like answered, feel free to reach out to the Home Instead team to discuss your needs.