Why Care At Home?

As you or your loved one begins to need more assistance in life, you may be wondering how you can ensure safety, happiness and comfort without the upheaval of hospital trips or nursing homes. 

Let’s start with the basics.

What is domiciliary care?

The term ‘domiciliary’ means anything concerning someone’s home, so domiciliary care refers to the care someone can receive in their own home, as opposed to in a hospital, assisted living facility, or nursing home. Domiciliary care is an important service that supports individuals who need a helping hand with their daily living activities, but are not yet ready to move to an assisted living facility or nursing home. 

Domiciliary care allows those individuals to remain in the comfort and familiarity of their own house or the house of a loved one, and continue their independence while receiving the required care from professionals. A trained professional can visit them to help with things like personal hygiene, meal assistance, companionship, medication management and more.

Who could benefit from this type of care?

Lots of different types of people can benefit from at-home care, but it can be particularly helpful for the likes of seniors, individuals with disabilities, or anyone recovering from an illness or surgery. This might include anyone with mobility, health or cognitive issues that require them to avoid things like excessive movement, strenuous activities, or remembering to carry out certain tasks – like taking medication at specific times, or turning off appliances. 

In other cases, home care can simply be light-touch support or providing weekly company so an elderly individual can remain at home, stay connected to their community, and never feel lonely. Domiciliary Care can be invaluable in order to maintain a sense of independence and positive quality of life. Not only does it allow the individual to feel in control of their own life, it enables their family to effectively manage their own responsibilities while safe in the knowledge that the wellbeing of their loved one is in good hands. 

What types of domiciliary care are there?

There are a number of at-home care services, which might include things like:

  • Personal Care: Help with daily activities like bathing, getting dressed and personal grooming
  • Medical Care: Medical professionals (such as registered nurses) for things like administering appropriate treatments or managing a medication schedule
  • Companion Care: Regular check-ins to combat loneliness, provide emotional support, and assist with social activities
  • Respite Care: Temporary care to relieve families and loved ones for a short time
  • Dementia Care: Care for those with dementia conditions to ensure they remain safe and comfortable at home
  • Live-in care: Round-the-clock assistance from a professional who stays at the home, for individuals with more extensive care needs
  • Shared Lives: Care that supports individuals with additional needs (for example, adults with learning disabilities) that struggle to live on their own. A Shared Lives carer may integrate the individual with their family while providing appropriate care
  • Palliative Care: End-of-life care to support and comfort an individual, provide pain management if needed, and offer emotional support to anyone with a terminal illness

As often as possible, people who require additional help should be offered the best care option for their circumstances that doesn’t diminish their current independence, but also doesn’t leave them with unmet needs. Home care is a great way to achieve this goal. 

What types of domiciliary care services are there? 

Most home visits aim to help older individuals retain independence and stay in familiar surroundings. Here is a brief overview of some of the services typically on offer. 

  • Companionship: Studies have shown that older adults who receive peer companionship see an improvement in symptoms of depression and anxiety, and experienced carers can provide companionship in the comfort of your own home, in order to keep you or your loved one active and social.
  • Home Help and Housekeeping: Home Help services include general household activities such as laundry, dusting, vacuuming, putting the bins out, ironing or feeding family pets. The carer should take time to get to know just how you like things to be so you never need to worry about the housework. Also, this can free up your loved ones’ time, enabling them to prioritise spending quality time with you in your home, and enjoy taking part in activities together.
  • Personal Care: These ensure the necessary support for basic needs such as bathing or dressing can be met within the home, and maintain a focus on preserving independence, routines and dignity as much as possible.
  • Night Care: Many older people place importance on feeling safe and supported at home no matter the time of day or night. Many carers offer tailored care during the night as a sleep-in service or a waking night service to help with overnight necessities like administering medication or helping reach the bathroom. It may be that you simply want the peace of mind of knowing someone is in your home should they be needed. 
  • Day Care: Whatever support you require, a good carer will share in the interests of you or your loved one, and provide help accessing enjoyable activities from home, whether that’s crafting, going for a walk, playing games or listening to music. You may only want a few hours or a full day of support, so look for services that match-make you with a specific carer who can become a trusted companion and enable you or your loved one to continue living a fulfilled, active life in the home you love. 
  • Respite Care: Families of individuals who require constant care can find it hard to manage other life responsibilities, and may struggle with feelings of guilt about leaving their loved one. However, there is evidence to suggest the benefits of respite care for everyone from carers to patients, so many carers can provide care and companionship within the home, allowing you to manage your own responsibilities, attend an appointment or special occasion, or just recharge your batteries. Remember, your wellbeing is important too, and can diminish with the regular demands of caring; respite care allows you to feel confident that your loved one is well cared for in their home.
  • Specialist Care: Some carers can help manage issues at home before they become serious by liaising with healthcare teams to address problems early, such as blood pressure and oxygen monitoring. They can also support the return home from hospital, or manage hospital discharge with postoperative and recovery care.
  • Alzheimer’s Care: What comes after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis can be physically and emotionally challenging for everyone involved. A good care solution can reassure families that loved ones are in safe hands within their own home, with everything from companionship to live-in care solutions. Look for carers who have undergone a tailored, assured training programme, so they can support your loved one to live safely, calmly, confidently and comfortably at home.
  • Dementia Care: Caring for someone with dementia takes a physical, emotional and mental toll. Good carers with real dementia experience can provide effective, compassionate and dignified dementia care at home so your loved one can feel calm and content, and retain as much independence as possible. Studies suggest that family caregivers are most concerned with providing a companion for their loved one for emotional support, but again it is worth considering carers with specific training in dementia to get the most out of their time.
  • Cancer Care: Following a cancer diagnosis, life can be extremely challenging for all involved, so an experienced carer can support you with a range of adaptable care services that meet your needs within your own home as the treatment changes. By working with clinical teams and tailoring home care to suit you, carers can ensure you get better rest at home, nutritious home-cooked meals, emotional support, less exposure to germs, and reduced stress to better support your treatment. 
  • Parkinson’s Care: Carers can provide all the support you or your loved one needs to live well at home. Specialist carers with the right experience should be fully qualified to care for people living with Parkinson’s at every stage, providing flexible, personalised home care based on your specific requirements. A good carer in this space will typically work with community health teams and other medical professionals to enhance independence within the home environment, and potentially reduce health complications and hospital admissions. 
  • Neurological Care: Neurological conditions such as Motor Neurone Disease (MND), Muscular Dystrophy (MD), Huntington’s Disease, Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy can make life more challenging, but a well trained carer can deliver ad hoc home visits or ongoing care services that evolve as an individual’s condition changes.
  • Palliative Care: Many people with terminal illnesses prefer to remain in their own homes surrounded by the people that are important to them, and studies have found palliative care at home to be associated with fewer hospitalisations than hospice stays. During this stressful and sensitive time, support from trusted specialist carers can make a huge difference. A personalised care service helps to ensure your loved one is comfortable and living life as they choose during the final months or years of their life, without having to leave the home they know and love. 
  • Postoperative and Recovery Care: Many carers can deliver a tailored service to help you or your loved one recuperate from illness or a hospital stay in the comfort of home in order to reduce stress as much as possible. Whether organising transport, medication, equipment, meal preparation, household chores, personal care or companionship, they can help with everything required for a speedy recovery. 
  • Arthritis and Mobility Care: Living with a condition which reduces mobility can be stressful and daunting, and can make everyday tasks more challenging. Good carers are here to support you in your home, from helping with shopping, laundry or meal preparation, to accompanying you to appointments or helping with personal care tasks like washing. We can provide a range of ways to help you stay comfortable at home.
  • Nail Care: Painful toenail conditions or infections can eventually affect mobility, so a trained carer can provide at-home nail care such as trimming, filing and cuticle maintenance, and even massages and nail polish application if desired. They can also carry out risk assessments for conditions like diabetes, haemophilia, poor circulation and more. Note: most carers will not (and indeed should not) carry out nail care on diagnosed diabetic patients – they will require specialist foot care from their GP.
  • Catheter and Stoma Care: Some carers are trained to deliver short-term or long-term catheter care at home, supporting the independence of you or your loved one and helping avoid infection risk that can lead to unnecessary hospital visits. Similarly, some can provide tailored support for stoma care without the need to visit a clinic, including application or removal of stoma bags, emptying of bags when required, monitoring of waste output, and ensuring the stoma remains free from infection. 
  • Simple Wound Care: Whether you have a post-operative or long-term condition that involves wounds in need of dressing and tending, a carer with the right training can manage your care from your home with skill and confidence, monitoring and caring for your wound to ensure healing, and identifying signs and symptoms of complications. 
  • Vital Signs Monitoring: The best carers are trained to monitor and record the five key vital signs of potential health problems, and they can do this from the comfort of your home. Body temperature, pulse rate, rate of respiration, oxygen saturation and blood pressure are monitored at home so you or your loved one can relax without the stress of endless clinic appointments. 
  • Diabetes Monitoring: Diabetes treatments rely on routine and careful monitoring, so if you or your loved one struggles to stay on top of the illness, a carer can help. Carers with the right training can help with the management of diabetes from home, such as checking blood sugar, administering insulin, helping to prepare healthy meals, and more. 
  • Non-Invasive Ventilation: Working alongside clinicians, some carers are trained to deliver non-invasive ventilator care at home, supporting the independence and comfort of you or your loved one.
  • Gastrostomy Care and Feeding Support: Some specialist carers can help take care of daily food and drink intake from home through feeding tube management, and assist with administering medication if required.

Keep an eye out for the right carers who are highly trained to deliver the services you need. Plus, during the selection process, look for people who enjoy similar interests so that you can find the right person to support you. No matter what type of home care you are looking for, remember the best solution will be a tailored service that suits you or your loved one. 

The benefits of home care vs a care home

There are many benefits to choosing home care instead of a care home, but this is a big life choice, and we understand you will want to make the best decision for yourself or your loved one. Let’s take a look at the most common questions about the pros and cons of both options.

What are the advantages of home care?

Home care has many advantages that make it a perfect choice for individuals with disabilities or anyone recovering from an illness or surgery, however it is also a great option for seniors who require additional care as they age. Not every elderly person will benefit from home care, but here are some of the advantages: 

The World Health Organization recommends elderly individuals be cared for in their own homes for as long as possible to maintain a strong sense of wellbeing, ideally by a home help organisation in order to reduce pressure on families.

  • Familiar, comfortable surroundings: This may be one of the most important benefits of home care. Moving house is a stressful experience for anyone, so moving out of the place you call home in your twilight years can be a major emotional upheaval. Keeping elderly people in their own home surrounded by their own possessions and memories can have a positive impact, and there is no reason to leave these things behind in order to receive adequate care – this is possible at home. 

Individuals living with dementia may find home care especially helpful, as staying in familiar surroundings means they are less likely to feel confused, anxious or lost. A 2013 study found those living with dementia at home experienced higher activity levels, quality of life, and felt more socially connected than those living in a care home. Another study found that after one month of home care, participants were less likely to develop acute confusion than those living in a care home. 

  • Improved independence: Home care can help maintain a sense of independence, which is important for an individual to feel they are at the centre of their own care journey. Research suggests interventions to maintain independent living have the potential to improve health perception and self-efficacy in seniors, so remaining at home throughout the care journey with an individualised support plan can help you or your loved one to feel content and confident. 

Staying at home also means the individual can manage things like temperature and noise levels in the home, when they feel like socialising, when they want to eat and sleep, and more. All of these options contribute to a sense of independence. 

  • Family visits: Home care often makes it easier for family and friends to visit regularly and stay involved in the care process. While many care homes maintain visiting hours and set meal times, staying at home means your family can visit anytime, eat with you, watch TV with you, stay as long as they like, and enjoy spending uninterrupted time together. 
  • Financial peace of mind: When someone moves into a care home, they may feel the need to sell their own home in order to pay for this expensive form of care. This can be incredibly stressful, and alongside the financial worries of keeping up with care home payments, you must also condense your possessions to fit into one room, manage the upheaval of house viewings with estate agents, and the big move itself. Home care can help avoid these stresses and financial worries, and can often be more affordable than moving into a care home. 
  • Flexibility: With home care, you won’t pay for care you do not yet require. Home care enables you to choose the areas you currently need help in, and how often. As you begin to require more help, you can add additional services as needed so you always feel supported and in control of your care journey. There are options to suit all – from frequent pop-ins to live-in care.
  • Community: For many people, moving away from their community support system can be challenging, but with home care an elderly individual can remain an active member of their community, see friends, attend local events, and enjoy the place they call home. 
  • Pets: Pets can be a huge source of comfort for elderly people. Many of us see them as members of the family, so asking someone to part ways with a beloved pet in order to move to a care home can be a traumatic experience. Home care enables anyone to continue living with their much-loved companions, and avoids pets feeling abandoned by their owners. 
  • Strong carer bond: The professional carers in care homes are just as qualified, friendly and helpful as home care professionals, however, care at home can sometimes establish a stronger bond with carers. With a highly personalised service in your own home, your carer will see where you live, ask about the photos on your mantelpiece, and get to know your family, interests and hobbies. 
  • Palliative care: People with terminal illness may wish to stay at home surrounded by the people they love and their own belongings – according to research, 71% of people would prefer this option over a hospice. During this stressful time it can be a comfort to spend the final months of life with family members at home.

What are the disadvantages of home care?

Everyone requires bespoke care, and home care won’t suit everyone. Some disadvantages of this type of care include: 

  • Home alterations: As mobility decreases, changes may be required to keep the home safe. Luckily, most homes are easily adapted if alterations are needed, and the team at Home Instead can advise on this. 
  • Home administration: Staying at home means admin like paying bills, dealing with home repairs and so on, which can be difficult if you have a health condition.
  • Palliative care needs: End-of-life care can be difficult if family members are helping with caring responsibilities. As the end approaches, round-the-clock care will be required and a hospice may be a preferable option to put everyone’s mind at ease.

What are the advantages of a care home? 

Here are some of the benefits of care homes.

  • A sense of safety: There are usually a lot of people around, so if an individual has concerns about being alone when ill, then a care home could provide the busy atmosphere needed to feel safe at all times. Alternatively, emergency pull cords and buttons can be installed at home to alert carers when needed. 

Care homes also have equipment and infrastructure to help those with mobility issues. These can also be installed at home, and studies have shown home assessment and tailored interventions can reduce recurrent falls of elderly individuals by as much as 38%.

  • Social life: Care homes often have many opportunities for social contact, which can keep feelings of loneliness at bay. They also operate a schedule of entertaining activities to keep seniors engaged, such as crafting, music, games and more, and will sometimes organise fun outings.
  • Standards: Care homes have certain standards they must meet, and are regulated and assessed according to the Care Quality Commission, so you can be assured you or your loved one is in good hands. 
  • Easy living: Living in a care home means all administrative responsibilities are sorted, such as paying utility bills, organising health appointments, and more. You or your loved one will no longer need to worry about cooking or cleaning, as all of this will be taken care of, making daily life more manageable and enjoyable. 

What are the disadvantages of a care home? 

As above, care homes also have their disadvantages, for example:

  • Expense: Care homes can be the more expensive option, and some people need to sell their home in order to finance them. According to Age UK, it costs on average £800 to £1,078 per week for a place in a care or nursing home, however this depends on where you live in the country and other factors. 
  • Poorer health: There is evidence to suggest care home residents may see a decline in their health after moving. The Office for National Statistics states that life expectancy for care home residents between 2021 and 2022 ranged from 2.9 to 7 years for female residents, and 2.2 to 6.3 years for male residents; a significantly lower life expectancy when compared with non-care home residents.
  • Strict rules: Care homes often impose rules for the good of all residents, but these may not suit the individual. These could include specific meal times (with limited food choices), family visiting hours, separate rooms for married couples, no pets, and more. 

While care homes can be useful, for all of the above reasons many people choose to avoid moving into a care home for as long as possible. Instead, home care can be a great option that can maintain health, independence, wellbeing and a sense of control over your life and care.  

First steps toward organising home care

It can be overwhelming to start looking into home care options, but we have broken the process down step-by-step to make it as simple as possible for you. 

Discuss your needs with family or friends 

The people who know you best may have some thoughts on what your home care needs will involve, and it helps to include someone you trust in the process so you feel supported throughout. 

Start by having an honest conversation about what you need from home care. You may feel wary about admitting to needing help in some areas, but the goal is to keep you happy and healthy at home, so try to open up about the things you are currently struggling with, and where you think you could struggle in the near future. Chat to a trusted friend or family member about how often you might need help, and anything they believe would help too. 

Don’t forget to discuss your budget with them if you feel comfortable doing so. This means they can help you stick to your budget when reaching out to home care providers. 

Speak to your doctor 

If you are unsure where to begin with home care, speaking to your GP can be a great start. They can usually break down the process for you, recommend any care options they think could work for your medical needs, and put you in touch with your local community healthcare team (regulated by Integrated Care Systems). 

They can also help to arrange a Care Needs Assessment, which means your local social services team will visit you to discuss your needs and do a financial assessment to find out if you are eligible for funded home care. If you choose to organise this on your own, you should reach out to the adult social services department within your local council. A Care Needs Assessment is free for everyone. 

Carry out a Care Needs Assessment

Once your doctor has arranged your Care Needs Assessment to evaluate the level of support you need, an assessor will contact you to let you know when they will visit. You could be offered an assessment over the phone, but you are entitled to ask for a face-to-face assessment if you think this would be more beneficial. 

It can help to make sure your trusted friend or family member is with you for this assessment, as they may be able to provide more insight into your care needs and help answer any questions the assessor has. The assessor can help to clarify what support is available, and this will give you a chance to express your desire to receive home care instead of being placed in a care home. Don’t worry – you won’t need to convince your assessor to keep you at home. Typically the end goal of your local social services is to keep seniors in their own homes as long as possible, provided they are safe and well there, so they will usually do all they can to support this. 

The assessor’s recommendations might include anything from a carer, to personal alarms, to home adaptations, to activity groups, and more. Remember, if you plan to fund your own home care you do not need to carry out a Care Needs Assessment. 

Consider how much home care might cost

Everyone wants the very best care for themselves and their loved ones, but the financial considerations of this are undoubtedly important and a big part of your decision. 

According to the National Audit Office, the projected increase in adults aged 65+ requiring care by 2038 is 57% (compared with 2018), and the projected increase in cost of care for the same demographic is 106%. This shows that not only will demand for care homes increase, but the price of care will increase also. Home care can provide an excellent, cost-effective alternative to care homes that means you pay only for the care you need. 

Depending on the type of home care service you are interested in and the area you live in, costs will differ. As of January 2023, there are 11,544 domiciliary care services registered with the Care Quality Commission, and all will have their own price points. As a rough estimate, according to research in 2022 from the Nuffield Trust, in the UK: 

  • Self-funded Nursing Care= £1,329 per week (on average)
  • Nursing Care funded by local authorities = £658 per week (on average)
  • Self-funded Personal Care = £983 per week (on average)
  • Personal Care funded by local authorities = £609 per week (on average)

The above figures are estimates, however there is thought to be a disparity in the cost of care for those self-funding it versus those being funded by their local authority. The government has discussed plans to require councils to pay providers higher fees for care according to the Fair Cost of Care Policy. This is in the process of being implemented, and should make the cost of care more equal for all. 

Decide on the type of home care you need (and want)

Once you have been assessed, or have discussed your needs with a trusted advocate, you can start to consider the type of home care you would like to receive. 

Look at the home care services available to you 

As a reminder, these can include (but are not limited to):

  • Companion Care: Regular check-ins to combat loneliness, provide emotional support, and assist with social activities
  • Personal Care: Help with daily activities like bathing, getting dressed and personal grooming
  • Medical Care: Medical professionals (such as registered nurses) for things like administering appropriate treatments or managing a medication schedule
  • Respite Care: Temporary care to relieve families and loved ones for a short time
  • Dementia Care: Care for those with dementia conditions to ensure they remain safe and comfortable at home
  • Live-in care: Round-the-clock assistance from a professional who stays at the home, for individuals with more extensive care needs

The above options may be helpful for you depending on your specific needs and medical requirements. There are a number of different people and organisations who can provide this care for you, including:

  • Family: Sometimes families may provide care services to an elderly individual on either a part-time or full-time basis, and may be eligible for a Carer’s Allowance from the government which can benefit them financially, while allowing them to spend more time with their loved one. 

Many people prefer to be looked after by a loved one as they feel more comfortable with them. On the other hand, some prefer to keep their care needs and family separate, so their family does not become overwhelmed with the responsibility, or have to give up their jobs or interests. Family members may also lack the qualifications or experience to provide specialised care needs such as medication. 

  • Private carers: Hiring a private carer can be helpful. They may also be referred to as a self-employed carer or personal care assistant. This could offer more control over what care you need and want, and possibly more control over your budget. 

However, keep in mind that hiring a private carer means you effectively become an employer, which comes with financial and legal responsibilities. This also means, should your private carer take time off, you must source a replacement yourself rather than having an agency do this for you. You must also check the private carer’s qualifications and experience – private carers are not usually monitored by care regulators in the UK, so you may need to look into their background yourself.

  • Agency carers: There are many agencies in the UK offering paid-for home care options, and these organisations provide a flexible alternative to entering a care home. Whether you need full-time, live-in care, someone to pop in a few hours a week to help with everyday tasks, or something in between, an agency can listen to your specific needs, and will involve you in the discussion about the exact level of care and schedule that works for you. 

Agency care can offer the likes of companionship, home help, personal care, night care, respite care, Alzheimer’s and dementia care, cancer support, palliative care, postoperative and recovery care, arthritis and mobility care, vital signs monitoring, diabetes monitoring, and much more. Whatever your needs, they can usually provide a flexible, person-centred care package to suit you.

Look at care provider ratings and reviews

Inviting a stranger into your home can feel overwhelming to many people, so knowing that they can be trusted to look after your needs and have been recommended by others can really put your mind at ease. One of the best ways to get to know the organisation and carers that may be involved in your care is to look at their ratings and reviews online. These will be based on work they have done for other individuals in the past. 

Try not to rely on reviews on the organisation’s own website, as these can be weighted towards their own service and may only display positive reviews. To find impartial ratings and reviews, you can look at the Care Quality Commission search page, which provides a traffic light system to show which services are described as ‘good’ or ‘requiring improvement’. You can also look at listings on Homecare.co.uk, which includes client reviews. 

Choose your favourite options and arrange a visit 

Once you have a shortlist of providers, reach out to them to express your needs, and arrange a visit with them in your home. Again, it helps to have your trusted friend or family member with you, especially if they will be communicating with the agency on your behalf. 

The agency will typically arrange to send a member of their team to your home to discuss your needs in detail and come to an agreement on what they can provide. Based on your needs and personality, they should aim to pair you with the Care Professional they believe can assist with everything you need and also suit your lifestyle. You will spend a lot of time with your Care Professional, so it is important to ensure you are a good fit for each other.

The home care service may ask questions such as: 

  • What care needs do you believe you have? 
  • What equipment, if any, do you currently use?
  • Do you have any medical conditions, history, or take any medications that are relevant to your care? 
  • What dietary requirements or preferences do you have? 
  • Do you have any religious or cultural needs they should be aware of?
  • Do you have other carers or family members who are involved in supporting your needs at home? 
  • Who has authority to make decisions on your behalf? Do they have a Power of Attorney?

You may want to ask questions too, and you should be encouraged to do so. If you are unsure what to ask, here are some that could be useful: 

  • How often will people be in your home? And will it always be the same home care worker each time?
  • What happens if a carer takes time off or is off sick for any reason?
  • What would happen in a medical emergency?
  • How are carers recruited to the organisation? How do they check their qualifications and experience? How extensive are their background checks?
  • Is there a contract to sign?
  • How do they match clients and carers? If you do not get along with a carer, can you request a change? 
  • When it comes to finances, how much will the service cost? How will this be charged? Are there any hidden costs to know about, such as VAT?
  • How do I contact the agency? Are there specific opening hours? 
  • Is there a trial period before the service officially starts?
  • As your needs change, can the service adapt easily? 
  • What if there is something you are not comfortable with the care worker doing? 
  • Who has access to your medical and care records?

You may wish to arrange visits with several home care organisations in order to find the best fit for you. Remember, you should feel comfortable asking as many questions as you like, and never be pressured into continuing with a service that you are not happy with. Research ahead of time with a trusted friend or family member who can advocate for you, and don’t be afraid to make your needs and preferences clear. 

For many home care providers – including the service we provide at Home Instead – bespoke and personalised care is the priority, so your needs and desires should always be taken into consideration. By voicing what is on your mind, your home care service can ensure you get exactly the care that works best for you. 

Do I need a carer? How to tell when it’s time for some support

Deciding when it’s time to look for the support of a carer, whether for yourself or for a loved one, can feel overwhelming. Not only is it difficult to see the signs of needing additional help, but it can feel daunting to begin searching for the care you need. 

If you are wondering how to identify when the “right” time might be, know that the answer to this question will be different for everyone and may depend on a number of factors – the health and mobility of an elderly person, the level of support from family already available, the home setup, and more. 

Here, you will find the most common signs that it may be time to start having conversations about enlisting support. This can provide many long-term benefits, and could be the beginning of a much easier, more enjoyable daily life for yourself or your loved one. 

Who could benefit from care?

Many people of all ages and backgrounds can benefit from receiving care, whether at home or in another setting such as a care home or clinic. Care can be helpful – or in some cases a necessity – for seniors, individuals with disabilities, those with significant health challenges, or anyone recovering from an illness or surgery. 

Someone with mobility or health issues could require help to avoid excessive movement or strenuous activities, while those with cognitive issues may need help with things like remembering to take medication. 

What types of care are available?

Care should be bespoke to the individual requiring it, and this can take place in a number of settings. For example, someone with intensive health needs may be required to attend a hospital for care, while someone who needs round-the-clock care may prefer to be moved to a care home where they can feel safe and supported day and night. 

For others, home care is a great alternative, allowing them to receive the flexible care they need from the comfort of the home they have spent many happy years in. 

What are the signs that someone needs care? 

Whether you are considering pursuing care services for yourself or a loved one, the decision can feel like a big one. If for yourself, you may be struggling with the idea of losing any part of your independence. Or, if you are researching care for an elderly relative, you may be struggling with feelings of guilt about making decisions too early or too late. 

Here are some common signs that indicate the right time to start looking into care:

Weight loss

Noticing changes in your own physical appearance isn’t always possible when you see yourself every day, but weight loss is a common sign that something has changed. This could be due to a number of reasons, such as forgetting to eat regularly, losing confidence with cooking, or a medical issue such as cancer – if you notice dramatic weight loss without diet changes, speak to a doctor to rule this out. 

A carer can help if you or your loved one require assistance with tasks like ensuring the kitchen is always stocked with food, cooking nutrient-rich meals, and sticking to a regular eating schedule. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Have you / has your loved one lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time?

❐ Are you / is your loved one skipping meals often? 

❐ Do you / does your loved one still feel confident cooking your/their favourite meals? 

Keeping up with personal care activities

Personal care can include things like washing regularly, applying products and getting dressed. If you feel you are no longer able to carry out your usual routine, then getting a helping hand with this part of your day could help you feel fresh, clean and confident. 

If you notice your loved one is not taking as much time over their personal care activities, or notice any of the below signs, they may need some assistance in their routine:

  • Smelling of body odour
  • Wearing unclean clothes with stains on them 
  • A smell of urine in the home, which could be a sign of incontinence
  • A dishevelled appearance, such as unkempt hair or an unclean beard  
  • Long nails 

There are a number of reasons an elderly person may neglect their personal care routine without realising it. For example, they might struggle to get in and out of the shower or bath due to mobility restrictions or a fear of falling

Bringing up someone’s hygiene can be a sensitive topic, so try to do this in an empathetic manner so they don’t feel embarrassed. Remind them that anything you say or suggest is to keep them feeling comfortable. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Do you see stains on your loved one’s clothes or around the home?

❐ How often do you bathe? This doesn’t need to be daily, but you should have regular access to a safe way to get clean. 

❐ Do you/they have any mobility restrictions making certain tasks more difficult and potentially dangerous, such as trimming toenails? 

Experiencing depression

Depression can develop gradually, which makes it difficult to recognise in oneself or in a loved one. However, it is vital the signs of depression are acted upon as soon as possible. According to the World Health Organization, the most common mental health conditions for older adults are depression and anxiety, and a 2019 report found around 27.2% of global deaths from suicide happen to those aged 60+.

Watch out for changes in loved ones, such as becoming withdrawn and quiet, losing interest in activities which were once enjoyable, feeling reluctant to see family and friends, sleeping more often, or experiencing mood swings. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Are you / is your loved one quieter than usual? 

❐ Do you / does your loved one feel less interested in taking part in activities? 

❐ Are you / is your loved one becoming more withdrawn from family or the community? 

Loneliness 

Elderly adults have an increased risk of loneliness and isolation, as they are more likely to live alone and experience the loss of friends. According to the WHO, loneliness and social isolation are key risk factors for mental health conditions in the elderly, and a report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine found almost a quarter of adults aged 65+ are considered ‘socially isolated’. This presents health risks, with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stating social isolation is associated with around a 50% increased risk of dementia.

Social activities can lead to significant improvements in mental health, reduced depression symptoms and increased quality of life. Not only can carers provide much-needed companionship, they can also help to organise other social opportunities, community initiatives, creative arts groups, leisure activities and more. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Do you / does your loved one feel less connected to family and friends recently? 

❐ Do you / does your loved one get regular visitors to the home throughout the week? 

❐ Are you / is your loved one experiencing any the symptoms of depression? 

Forgetting things regularly / experiencing confusion

One of the key signs of requiring additional care is forgetfulness or confusion. If you have experienced this recently, don’t worry; forgetting things does not always equal dementia, and if you are concerned about forgetfulness at all you should not hesitate to discuss these signs with a loved one or medical professional. It may simply mean you need a little extra help with everyday tasks. If you have found yourself doing things like forgetting to take medication, or leaving the cooker on, it is much safer to let someone know you have these concerns. Don’t keep it to yourself, as this could become dangerous for your wellbeing. 

Dementia can sometimes be a concern in these cases. If your relative is showing signs of forgetfulness or confusion, needing help when making decisions, forgetting where they are, struggling to follow directions, or putting things in the wrong place, you should consider helping them book a doctor’s appointment to discuss this. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Do you / does your loved one often forget important details you believe should be easy to remember? 

❐ Do you / does your loved one often feel disoriented, confused or scared? 

❐ Have you / has your loved one forgotten to do something that might be considered a safety concern, such as leaving the gas stove on for several hours after cooking? 

Keeping up with household tasks

A lack of cleaning and tidying around the home can sometimes be a clear indicator that someone may need help in this area or other areas of life. For example, if your loved one’s home starts to look unclean, messy, cluttered, or perhaps you notice spills haven’t been properly cleaned, it could be becoming unmanageable for them and they may require assistance with housework and other chores. You may also notice a change in the smell of their home if they have been unable to clean their space, or signs of excessive hoarding which can build up quickly. A carer can provide home help and housekeeping to make home maintenance easier.

Administrative chores can also feel overwhelming. For example, keeping up with finances can be daunting with the likes of online banking. Seniors are more at risk of being victimised by scam artists and fraudulent activity, so if you are worried you or a loved one might be tricked in this way, a carer could help provide peace of mind when answering phone calls, dealing with mail, or ensuring no personal details are given out. 

Ask yourself: 

❐ Does your / your loved one’s home look or smell unclean? 

❐ Does your / your loved one’s home look untidy, or full of clutter? 

❐ Are you concerned about keeping up with your / your loved one’s administrative responsibilities, such as paying bills?

Concerning falls

Accidents can happen to anyone, but seniors may experience falls if they are unsteady on their feet due to mobility issues or health conditions. When this happens, there can be much higher risk of broken bones or life-threatening injuries. 

A survey by Age UK found around 4.3 million older people are worried about falling, with 36% saying it is their primary concern. If you have had a fall that has worried you, caused bad injuries, or has led to a fear of moving around freely in your home, a carer could offer peace of mind. Similarly, if your loved one has had a concerning fall, you may wish to look into care options so you feel confident they are not undertaking activities at home that could lead to falls, such as reaching for high shelves or showering in the morning. 

Remember, simple tasks others take for granted can be difficult for those with mobility issues, such as tying shoelaces or climbing steep stairs. If you believe you or your loved one is more at risk of having an accident, consider what kind of care or home improvements might be necessary to keep them safe and enjoying their home without the threat of injury.  

Ask yourself: 

❐ Are there any areas of concern in your / your loved one’s home that could cause trips?

❐ Do you feel scared to walk around your home freely after a fall? 

❐ Does your loved one have any injuries they may not have disclosed? Bruises, scrapes and swelling are all indications of recent falls that should be addressed. 

How do you know if you need care?

If you answered yes to some of the above questions, then it could be time to start having discussions with a loved one about care needs. This does not mean you must receive full-time care, as there are many different types of flexible care available. Understanding the above signs is a great first step, so you can start to recognise where help might be needed. 

If you have any concerns about your own wellbeing, start by bringing this up with family and have an open and honest discussion about what you are struggling with, and where you believe you require additional help. If this is something medical, you may prefer to speak to your doctor about this. 

Similarly, if you are concerned about a loved one, starting conversations about future care needs as early as possible will mean broaching the subject isn’t as difficult when the time comes. Always remind your loved one their safety and comfort is your number one priority, which is why you are considering their care needs early. 

If you have noticed a physical, emotional or mental decline in your loved one, then it’s time to start looking into the process of acquiring care for them.

The Care Needs Assessment

If you are considering care for yourself or a loved one, you will undoubtedly be curious to know more about the Care Needs Assessment, including how to get one, how the assessment works, what questions you might be asked, and more. Let’s get into the specifics of the Care Needs Assessment and why this is such an important part of the process.  

What is a Care Needs Assessment? 

A Care Needs Assessment is an evaluation done to determine what an individual needs for their health-related care and social support. By undergoing a Care Needs Assessment, an independent assessor can see what your physical, mental and emotional needs might be. For example, you might need a hand getting dressed in the morning, or with home administration such as paying bills, or perhaps you are feeling lonely and in need of companionship.

The Care Needs Assessment will take into account things like:

  • Your mobility needs – could you benefit from having grab rails or a stairlift installed in your home?
  • Your communication needs – do you need companionship and social activities to improve mental health symptoms?
  • Your personal care needs – are you struggling with getting washed and dressed regularly? 
  • Your medical conditions – do you have any medical concerns requiring medication or regular check-ups?

A Care Needs Assessment is often carried out by a social worker, healthcare worker or someone else qualified to examine your day-to-day needs. The outcome is a personalised care plan to address your individual requirements, with the top priorities being to enhance your wellbeing and quality of life. 

Who should have a Care Needs Assessment?

If you believe you may need help in certain areas of your life, your eligibility for this will depend on a number of factors, including where in the country you live. 

The local authority organising your Care Needs Assessment will take into account whether or not you are able to manage or maintain: 

  • Adequate nutrition
  • Personal hygiene
  • Toilet requirements 
  • Clothing needs 
  • Moving around in and making use of your home safely 
  • Home maintenance (cleaning, etc.)
  • Family or other personal relationships
  • Accessing and engaging in work, training, education or volunteering
  • Making use of necessary services in the community, such as public transport or recreational facilities
  • Additional caring responsibilities (for example, if you have a child)

They will also consider whether you struggle to achieve a specific outcome without needing assistance, without causing significant pain, without stress or anxiety, without endangering yourself or others, or without taking much longer than would normally be expected. 

If you are unable to achieve two or more of the above, you may be eligible for care and support, and this is what the Care Needs Assessment helps to evaluate. 

Do I have to pay for a Care Needs Assessment?

No. Anyone can apply for a Care Needs Assessment, and it is completely free to organise, no matter your level of income. 

How do I get a Care Needs Assessment? 

If you believe you could benefit from a Care Needs Assessment for you or a loved one, it’s time to organise this. To book an assessment, you will need to contact the local authority or healthcare provider in your area. 

  • In England and Wales, you can find out which local council is relevant to you on the gov.uk website
  • In Scotland, you can find your relevant local council on the mygov.scot website
  • In Northern Ireland, you can find your relevant local council on the nidirect website

If you are unsure about the process of contacting your local council, and do not have anyone who can do this for you, you can visit your GP to have a conversation about where to start. They can recommend options they believe could work for your medical needs, put you in touch with your local community healthcare team (regulated by Integrated Care Systems), and help to arrange a Care Needs Assessment if you cannot do this yourself. 

You can also contact the local authority on behalf of a loved one to arrange a Care Needs Assessment if you think they may be struggling to cope in certain areas of life. 

Need an urgent assessment?

If you need an urgent Care Needs Assessment for yourself or a loved one, you should make this clear when booking. Sometimes, a service can begin providing support before a Care Needs Assessment has been completed, so don’t be shy about letting them know if your care needs are high-priority. This will be followed by a full assessment as soon as possible to get the proper, personalised care in place. 

What happens in a Care Needs Assessment?

A Care Needs Assessment is not something to worry about at all. The social or healthcare worker who comes to your home will simply want to get to know you and your daily routine, and figure out what interventions they can recommend to help improve your quality of life and make things easier for you. 

Although you do need to prepare a few things beforehand (more on this below), you shouldn’t think of it as an examination, as you don’t need to learn anything beforehand. Just focus on being open and honest; don’t try to conceal anything you struggle with as the point in the assessment is to see where you need genuine help. 

A Care Needs Assessment typically goes something like this:

  1. You or your advocate will make a phone call or online enquiry at the relevant website above.
  2. You will be contacted via your preferred contact method to let you know when someone will visit. You may be offered a phone assessment, but if you would prefer a face-to-face assessment don’t be afraid to ask for this.
  3. An assessor with appropriate training and experience will visit your home. This could be a social worker, occupational therapist or someone else with the right qualifications. 
  4. At your assessment, the assessor may walk around your home, examining what your specific needs may be and what interventions could help you most.
  5. You will have a discussion about your daily activities, health conditions or mobility needs, and personal preferences. For example, if you would like to arrange home care rather than moving to a care home, you can let them know. Remember, the end goal of your local council is to keep seniors in their own homes as long as possible if they are safe and well there, so your assessor will do all they can to support this. 
  6. The assessor might chat to your family members or caregivers if they are present at your assessment, to get a more holistic view of your needs.
  7. The assessor will clarify what support might be available, and what their recommendations are. This might include anything from a carer, to personal alarms, to home adaptations, to activity groups, and more. 

What should you do to prepare for the assessment? 

The Care Needs Assessment is simply about observing how you currently live, and talking to you about the things you struggle with, so there isn’t much to do in the way of preparation for your assessment

However, you cannot assume the assessor will fully understand your challenges from one meeting, so it can help to gather any relevant information together ahead of time so you don’t forget any details. You may want to list out things like:

  • What specific challenges you experience day to day
  • Your daily routine 
  • Any health conditions you have, and your medical history 
  • Any medications you take 
  • Your care preferences

If you aren’t sure exactly what care needs you have, it may help to keep a brief diary in the week leading up to your visit so you have some fresh examples of times when you may have needed a little more help. This can be handy for identifying what help you need, as well as when you need it most. It can also help to show the assessor – if you tend to have some good days and some bad days – that even if your needs aren’t obvious on the day they arrive, you can discuss what your needs are on the not-so-good days. 

During your assessment, you may be asked about your emotional and social needs too. While this can be a difficult discussion to have, this is not the time to bottle up any complicated emotions, such as loneliness or fear. Let your assessor know if your emotional needs are not being met so they can suggest helpful interventions like companionship or social activities. 

It can help to involve a family member or caregiver in the assessment process. Having someone you trust with you can help you feel supported throughout, offer more insight on what your care needs may be, and can be useful when answering difficult questions. The people who know you best may have thoughts on what your home care needs will be, so try to involve them in the discussion if you feel comfortable doing so. If you want to talk about anything private, you can ask them to leave the room. If you don’t have anyone who can support you during the process, you have the right to request an independent advocate who can ensure your preferences are being taken into consideration. 

Openness and honesty are key during the assessment, as the goal is to keep you happy and healthy living at home. With person-centred care a priority, your local authority should involve you in your assessment as much as possible. Whether you need an interpreter to fully communicate, an advocate to help if you have difficulty retaining information, or something else, your assessor must take this into account. 

What sort of questions might you be asked in an assessment? 

Your assessor will aim to understand as much about your care needs as possible during their visit, so they will likely ask you some questions about your situation. The questions might include things like: 

  • What difficulties do you face on a daily basis?
  • What is your daily routine like? 
  • Do you have someone currently looking after you?
  • What difference could the relevant interventions make to your life?
  • What medical issues do you currently have, and what medications do you take?
  • What is your medical history? 
  • Do you have any sight or hearing problems?
  • Do you have any mobility problems? 
  • Have you had any falls?
  • Do you have problems with incontinence?
  • Do you struggle to get washed and dressed every day?
  • Do you suffer from mental health issues like depression?
  • What are your hobbies and interests?
  • What important relationships do you have with people around you?
  • Do you eat regular meals?
  • Do you drink or smoke?
  • Do you need help organising finances like Personal Independence Payments (PIP)?
  • Is your accommodation set up for your needs?
  • Can you get to shops and other facilities if needed? 
  • Have you had any problems with your personal safety, such as abuse or neglect? 
  • Is your preference to stay at home or move to a care home? Which area would you prefer to be in a care home, if applicable? 

What happens after the assessment?

If you are eligible for care, your assessment will be followed by a written copy of your new care plan, which will detail all information about the care and support you need. For example, adaptations to your home (grab rails, stairlifts, etc.), home help (cleaning, cooking, etc.), or respite care in a day centre may be recommended. 

Your local council will then usually carry out a financial assessment to decide whether your care can be covered by the council, or if you will have to pay some or all of the cost yourself.

What if I’m caring for someone?

All of the above information on the Care Needs Assessment is relevant if you are arranging this on behalf of someone you are caring for. However, if you are currently caring for someone, you’re also entitled to ask for a free carer’s assessment, which looks at what help could make your life easier as a carer. 

This assessment may lead to recommendations like respite care so you can take breaks, training, help with transport needs, support groups for carers, benefits advice and more. 

The Care Plan

Let’s take a look at the details of the Care Plan you might be assigned after the Care Needs Assessment, including what is included in a Care Plan, what to do if you’re not happy with the care you are receiving, the importance of person-centred care, and more. 

What is a Care Plan? 

A Care Plan is a written document created after a Care Needs Assessment is carried out and an individual has been identified as being eligible for care. It details the type of support needed to meet the care needs of the person in question. As well as ensuring the plan is written up formally, the local authority that carried out the Care Needs Assessment will arrange for the recommended support and services to be implemented. 

As an example, a Care Plan might recommend something like moving an individual into a nursing home in order to meet their daily medical needs, or it may recommend home adaptations such as adding grab rails or a ramp, to make life at home safer. 

A Care Plan is an important document to break down exactly what recommendations have been made, and why. It allows everyone in the chain – from local authority administrative staff, to carers, to your family and loved ones – to understand your needs and ensure they are being adequately met in the right areas, at the right times. 

A Care Plan should always take into account your individual wishes and preferences, and take reasonable steps to accommodate these. Each Care Plan will be unique to the individual, but they are all created for the same purpose; to ensure you get the care you need to live as independently as possible, to ensure you receive the same care no matter which care worker is on duty, and to record everything that happens. 

According to the NHS, a care and support plan should include:

  • Your personal preferences and priorities 
  • What you can do yourself
  • What equipment or care you need
  • What your friends and family think 
  • Who to contact if you have questions about your care
  • Your care budget and direct payments (the weekly total the council will spend on your care)
  • What care you can get from your local council
  • How and when care will happen

How do you get a Care Plan?

Before you are assigned a Care Plan, you must undergo a Care Needs Assessment to establish exactly what type of needs you have.

As a brief overview, however, a Care Needs Assessment usually goes something like this:

  • You or your advocate will make a phone call or online enquiry via the relevant local authority, and you will be contacted via your preferred contact method to let you know when someone will visit. 
  • An assessor with appropriate training and experience (such as a social worker, occupational therapist or someone else with the right qualifications) will visit you. During the assessment, they may walk around your home, examining what your specific needs may be and what interventions could help you most.
  • You will have a discussion about your daily activities, health conditions or mobility needs, and personal preferences. For example, if you would like to arrange home care rather than moving to a care home, you can let them know. Remember, the end goal of your local council is to keep seniors in their own homes as long as possible if they are safe and well there, so your assessor will do all they can to support this. 
  • The assessor might chat to your family members or caregivers if they are present at your assessment, to get a more holistic view of your needs.
  • The assessor will clarify what support might be available, and what their recommendations are. This might include anything from a carer, to personal alarms, to home adaptations, to activity groups, and more. 
  • Your assessor will give you a rough time frame for when they expect your Care Plan to be ready, and this will be sent to you. 

What is included in a Care Plan? 

Each Care Plan is entirely personalised to the individual, as everyone’s needs are completely different. Some of the recommendations that may be in your Care Plan include: 

  • Any adaptations needed to make your home safe and comfortable, or any equipment that would make life easier
  • A carer, either on a semi-regular basis, a full-time carer, or a live-in carer
  • Personal alarms – either throughout the house or worn by the individual – to make calling for help easier in an emergency 
  • Intermediate care services to help temporarily after an illness or injury
  • Respite care at a day centre
  • Socialisation and community activities 
  • A place in a care home

All Care Plans are different, but according to the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, all support plans should include information on:

  • How your needs will be met
  • When care will take place
  • The desired outcomes of care
  • Your personal preferences 
  • What you can manage yourself without care 
  • What your personal budget is in order to pay for the care needed
  • How family, friends and carers will be involved in supporting you
  • How your needs will be met as they relate to your gender, sexuality, disability, ethnicity or religion
  • What to do in a crisis
  • Who to contact if you have questions about your Care Plan 

The Care Plan should include a record of what takes place during care, to make it easy for a care worker to pick up from where the previous carer left off. This also allows for care to be easily transferable between hospital, home and care home settings, if needed. 

Plans should be flexible as your needs change, and should also be reviewed regularly – more on this below. 

What happens if you receive a Care Plan you are not happy with?

Receiving your personalised Care Plan is not the end of the process. In the UK, the NHS and local councils prioritise person-centred care, meaning you will be highly involved in the creation of your own Care Plan and the subsequent care you receive. 

On the written document containing your Care Plan, there will be contact details for the best person to get in touch with if you have questions or concerns about what is included in your Care Plan, or the care being given. Should you experience any further worries about your Care Plan or carers, the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman (LGSCO) acts as an impartial service to look into complaints about councils and other organisations, including adult social care providers – this service is free. 

If you require care whilst ironing out any issues with the care being provided by your local authority, you may wish to look into private home care if your budget allows. At Home Instead, our Care Professionals are expertly trained to deliver the services you need from home, no matter how complex your needs are. 

How often are care needs evaluated?

Initially, you will likely have the first review after six to eight weeks of starting the Care Plan to see that everything is working as it should be. 

Your care needs will likely change over time, so your local authority will review your care and support plan at least every 12 months. You can ask for an earlier review if you believe your situation has changed, or a full re-assessment if you think more drastic changes need to be made to your plan. 

Why is person-centred care important?

Data from a 2014 English National GP Patient Survey suggested that 84% of patients with a long-term condition reported some care planning discussion in the last 12 months, but only 12% reported being told they had a Care Plan in place. By not involving patients in their own Care Plan, important needs can be missed. For this reason, it is crucial to continue improving these numbers and involve people in the organisation of their own care. 

As of a review in 2011, getting patients involved in decision-making around their own health is a central theme of national and local policy within the NHS, as this is thought to improve health outcomes and patient satisfaction. Research suggests that patients feel more involved in their own care when they are treated as equal partners in the decision making, when their thoughts are listened to, and when they are provided with all of the information they need. 

Furthermore, research on mental health and wellbeing shows that involving patients in their own care planning can lead to improved service outcomes and mental wellbeing. As a result, steps are now taken to ensure all Care Plans take this into account. 

Having a discussion about care

Discussing care needs with an elderly relative can be difficult, depending on the specific requirements of your loved one and their attitude to receiving help. For some, companionship and help around the home is welcomed with open arms, whereas others see this as losing their independence. 

Assuring your loved one of the positive aspects of receiving care can be tricky if their mind seems made up, so let’s take a look at the difficult subject of organising home care for an elderly relative if they are refusing help.

When is it time to arrange care for an elderly loved one? 

It can feel very strange to discuss care needs with an elderly relative if they used to care for you as a child. We often see our parents as invincible for most of our lives, but eventually the time comes when they need help to live safely and comfortably in their own home. 

This transition is easier when your loved one accepts their need for help, but it can be challenging if they are in denial about their needs and refusing the care that will help them. Research from Age UK in 2019 showed 15% of the 65+ population struggle without the help they need to carry out essential daily tasks like getting out of bed, and getting washed. For this reason, it’s important to keep a watchful eye over loved ones in case they are silently struggling with these everyday activities. 

If you are unsure how to start this discussion, here are a few things to keep in mind: 

Listen to their reasons for refusing 

Research shows 2 in 3 people aged 70+ say they have not shared their plans for care with their adult children, so you may feel in the dark about your loved one’s thoughts on home care. Alternatively, your relative might be adamant they do not want home care from a stranger, or feel they don’t need it. 

Rather than pressuring them to receive care regardless, it is important to listen to their objections and personal reasons. Try to understand any doubts or fears they may have so you can respond appropriately to put their mind at ease. It can sometimes feel like an elderly relative is simply being ‘difficult’, but more often than not there is an underlying reason for their objections, and understanding this can make subsequent discussions easier for both of you. Some of these reasons may include:

  • A belief that home care equals moving to a care home – Remind them home care can be adapted as their needs change, so there is no reason to assume they will end up in a care home. Home care is flexible, so they can remain in their own home as long as they want to. 
  • A fear that they will lose their independenceElderly people’s autonomy is important for their wellbeing, so it is important to respect their needs, wishes and values. Make it clear they will be involved in any decision-making when it comes to the type of care they need and the people coming in and out of their home.  
  • A fear that they won’t get a say in their daily activities – As above, remind them their daily routine can be whatever they feel comfortable with, and they will retain control over this.  
  • A fear of loss of dignity – Having to accept personal care from a stranger can be a difficult objection to handle, as many people are embarrassed to receive help with intimate things like going to the bathroom and getting washed. Remind them that carers are qualified professionals trained in helping with things like this. They will always respect your wishes, make you feel comfortable and do everything possible to preserve your dignity while helping you feel fresh and clean every day. 
  • A feeling of guiltStudies have found that care receivers often feel guilty and embarrassed by receiving more care than they can give in return. Remind your loved one they may have spent years of their life looking after other people, and now it is their turn to accept help without guilt. Assure them that carers want to help them, and they should never feel like a burden. 
  • Worries about paying for treatment – Often elderly people worry they won’t be able to afford the care they need, or that their family members will be out of pocket as a result. Assure them there are options when it comes to financing care, and involve them in discussions about how this works.
  • Concerns about stigma – Some elderly people may have concerns about others in their social circle finding out they require care. This comes back to an embarrassment about the need for care, as this can affect their pride. Remind your loved one that if they would prefer, none of their friends or other family members need to know the details of their care, as this can take place at home at times that suit them and is entirely private.
  • A fear that you or other loved ones will visit less – This can be a difficult discussion to have, as your elderly relative may worry that – by accepting home care – they will see their loved ones less. It can help to remind them of your commitment to visiting, and assure them that even if they see you less as a result of home care, it can make visits more enjoyable and enriching as you can focus on doing activities together and catching up properly without distractions like housework or cooking. 
  • A denial about becoming older – Some elderly people feel they don’t need help, and would rather struggle than accept they are getting older. This can be a difficult conversation if they are refusing something you feel is an obvious need, but try to stay calm and listen to their perspective. The conversation may need to be had a few times for them to accept assistance. Also, if your loved one is refusing safety devices like personal alarms due to their association with becoming older, consider work-arounds that offer similar protection without the perceived stigma, like a voice-activated alarm or hidden emergency button.
  • A fear of strangers in their home – Many elderly people worry about being on their own with a stranger, and this is an understandable fear. Assure your loved one that person-centred care is the goal, so they will always be fully involved in decisions about who comes into their home and how often. Also, remind them that initial meetings with carers and trial periods can be arranged, so they will get to decide whether or not they enjoy the company of their carer, and can switch if needed. At Home Instead, we take into account the personalities and likes/dislikes of each individual to ensure they are matched well with the best carer for them.  
  • A negative perception of the healthcare system – Some elderly people will refuse things like hospital or care home admission, and this attitude can make them sceptical of home care too. Helping them to better understand home care and what this involves can be useful. Remind them they will be heavily involved in their own care planning, and can decide what help they need and when. 

Broach the subject early

One of the best ways to approach care discussions if an elderly relative is hesitant to receive care is to bring up the subject early – long before the person actually needs help. Without any urgency to organise care, it can be easier to ask questions like: “What are your thoughts on installing a stair lift now so it’s there if you ever need it?”

By introducing the idea gradually rather than all at once, your loved one can start to consider it themselves and become more comfortable with the idea when it’s needed down the line. It can be useful to suggest having, for example, a carer pop in once a week to do any difficult housework chores so they start to get used to having someone in the house regularly. 

It’s true that sometimes we don’t have the time to gradually work up to the subject of arranging home care, but if it’s possible, a staggered approach can be a really useful way to bring it up when care is still a nice-to-have rather than a must-have. 

Come to the discussion prepared

If you are trying to have a serious discussion with your elderly relative about arranging care more imminently, it can help to approach the subject having done some initial research into the types of care available, what you think would help your loved one most, and the cost of implementing each type of care. A pros and cons list could be useful, or collecting some recommendations from others who have already started using home care services. 

Remember, your loved one may have already thought about their care needs and how they feel about certain elements of this. Don’t dive in with your own research on the subject until you have asked them their opinion on home care and what they think might suit them best. Find out what they think, and follow up with the research you have done. 

How to have a discussion about arranging home care

Home care can be a solution that many elderly people are open to, as it provides an excellent alternative to moving to a care home. By considering creative ways to solve your loved one’s problems using flexible home care services, you can discuss a middle ground that keeps them safe while also respecting their wishes and routine within their own home.  

Here are a few tips for having the discussion about arranging home care: 

  • Talk in person rather than over the phone, and whether you are bringing it up casually or in a more serious manner, make sure there are no distractions. 
  • Try not to focus on the things they cannot do (for example, “You’re too unsteady on your feet to do housework now”), and instead, focus on solutions that could help improve their life (for example, “Having someone come in weekly to help with housework could make it safer for you and free up more of your time”) 
  • Assure your loved one that you will still be around to help with the transition. Often elderly people fear change, so make sure they feel secure and that you are not going to throw them in at the deep end with a stranger.
  • Never talk down to an elderly relative, interrupt them, or assume you know what’s best. Treat them as adults and consider their opinions within the discussion. You should be able to work towards an agreement that keeps everyone happy. 
  • Share the many benefits of home care with them, and ask if they can see themselves benefitting from any of the points you mention. 

Benefits of home care

When discussing home care with a loved one, it can help to mention benefits such as:

  • It can help elderly people maintain their independence – research suggests interventions to maintain independent living have the potential to improve health perception and self-efficacy in seniors.
  • It enables elderly people to stay in familiar, comfortable surroundings, which can be particularly helpful for those with dementia.
  • It can help people feel more secure in case of emergencies.
  • It can make everyday life easier with some extra help around the house.
  • It ensures there is always a friendly face to chat to.
  • It enables elderly people to see more of their friends and family, keep their pets, and remain within their community.
  • It is flexible, so you only pay for the care you need rather than automatically receiving full-time care. Whether it’s companionship and help with housekeeping, or specialist care such as diabetes monitoring or dementia care, there are flexible options to suit.

What to do if an elderly person refuses care?

It can be tough if an elderly relative is refusing to discuss their care needs, so if all of the above is not working and they are still saying no to care, you may want to try:

  • Ask open-ended questions about how they plan to handle future limitations such as mobility problems or an inability to perform personal care tasks.
  • Have the discussion several times to allow them time to think about some of your points.
  • Ask them what they believe they need – remember, person-centred care is crucial so they should be in charge of the discussion.
  • Encourage them to consult a doctor or another healthcare professional who can give their opinion. Sometimes people find it easier to hear suggestions from a professional rather than a family member, and doctors are often experienced in people refusing care so they may have some communication tools up their sleeve. 
  • Rather than trying to convince a loved one to implement an entire system of care, start with one thing, and this should be the most urgent need. For example, if you are worried about a loved one falling at home, focus on getting them a wearable alarm that can alert someone if this happens. The next point of call can be grab rails or something similar around the home, but an alarm is a good first step. 
  • Take them to visit a friend or relative who may already have home care in place. They may be better placed to discuss the potential benefits, and explain how much easier and safer life feels since getting home care. This is not about getting reinforcements for you, but rather, finding someone with the relevant lived experience of home care who can hopefully offer a new perspective.
  • Explain your reasons for wanting to arrange care, which might include things like worrying about them, or feeling overwhelmed with care responsibilities. This shouldn’t be about making them feel guilty, it is about helping them understand why home care could benefit you too.  
  • Ultimately, put your loved one in the driving seat so they can choose what they feel would make life easier, what kind of help they would like, and which service they would like to try. It can help to arrange a trial period with a few different carers until they decide the fit is right. 

Where to get support if someone is refusing care

In a survey asking participants their reasons for leaving work to care for elderly parents, one of the top responses was “there is no one else who can help”. With studies revealing almost 5% of the population are providing 20 hours of unpaid care or more every week, it is normal to start feeling overwhelmed by caring duties. If you aren’t sure what to do about a loved one refusing care, do not give up on having the care discussion. 

Continue to bring this up as often as feels appropriate, and engage the help of others who can assist such as your relative’s GP or healthcare team. You can also reach out to us at Home Instead to discuss the types of home care that could be useful, and arrange a home visit so your loved one can meet their potential carer and discuss the idea of home care with a professional. This will hopefully answer their questions and put their mind at ease.

More home care resources